


Porcelain Dolls

by RedactedReader



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Badass Toph Beifong, Character Study, Child Neglect, Neglect, Original Character(s), Toph Beifong & Zuko Friendship, Toph Beifong-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29812257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedactedReader/pseuds/RedactedReader
Summary: Behind towering stone walls and circles of guards, Toph plays the role of a porcelain doll. She sits quietly, hands in her lap, and chipped pieces hidden under tolls of fabrics. She takes her father’s hand, and allows him to guide her through the courtyards. She sits still as china glass while her mother sets braids into her fine hair. She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t demand. She doesn’t break the fragile part she plays in this home.
Relationships: Lao Beifong & Toph Beifong, Poppy Beifong & Toph Beifong, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Porcelain Dolls

**Author's Note:**

> Written For Bad Things Happen Bingo: Neglect

Behind towering stone walls and circles of guards, Toph plays the role of a porcelain doll. She sits quietly, hands in her lap, and chipped pieces hidden under tolls of fabrics. She takes her father’s hand, and allows him to guide her through the courtyards. She sits still as china glass while her mother sets braids into her fine hair. She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t demand. She doesn’t break the fragile part she plays in this home.

Her mother shuts her behind more walls the first time the Earth bends under her feet. She’s Tiny. Blind. Helpless. Only three years old and her mother is scared. She’s scared that the porcelain skin of her daughter would break, and no one would be able to piece her back together. 

“Careful, Toph dear,” her mother’s voice was stilted behind her ear. She pulled her young daughter from the freshly created mud, and set her in the grass. Her perfectly painted nails plucked a stone from Toph’s hair, grimacing. “A young lady does not behave as such. You are filthy. We have company coming, why would you do this?”

Toph wiggled her little toes, digging through through the grass to find the dirt beneath. Her glassy gaze stared blankly ahead, a little off to the left from where her mother stood. Darkness was all she saw, but she knew she was there somewhere. “Sorry mama.”

Her mother tisked again. She waved down a servant, demanding that they deal with the situation immediately. “I need you to deal with this situation most quickly. Bak So and his wife will be here within the hour and I cannot have my daughter running these halls covered in such filth. I thought I told you to keep a firm eye on her Gwan?”

A pair of hands plucked Toph from the ground. She was held against a chest covered in stiff fabric. Her hands were calloused and she smelled strongly of cleaning products. This was not her mother. “I am so sorry my Lady. I looked away for one moment and Toph disappeared. It will not happen again.”

“Make sure it doesn’t.” Her mother’s voice was father away. “Clean her up and keep her out of sight for a few hours. And for Spirits sake, find her shoes.”

“Yes my Lady.” Gwan bowed, holding Toph in her arms tightly as she did so. They were moving, the rustles of fabrics the only sound as they left the muddy courtyard and moved into the home. Toph clung tightly to her nanny as they moved around the large mansion. They ended up in a room she didn’t know, Gwan setting the tiny child onto a plush cushion. 

Gwan placed a hand on Toph’s cheek, running her thumb in a quick circle. “Stay right here little one. We’ll get you cleaned up.”

She was off and moving around. Toph continued to sit there, her unseeing gaze roaming around the room. It had a familiar air and she wondered if they were in one of her bedrooms or not. There was running water for a moment before the air shifted once more. Gwan was kneeling before Toph. She took the child’s foot in her hand, running a wet rag over to clean the mud.

Toph giggled, wiggling her toes as the rag moved between her toes. “That tickles Nanny Gwan.”

“I’m sure it does,” she chuckled back. “How did you get so much mud between these tiny little toes.”

“I moved it.” Toph answered. Her feet were let go of. Having them free, Toph kicked them out, unable to see the way the mud splattered about.

“You… you moved it?”

“A huh.” Toph nodded. “I made the mud move.”

“You sure?”

Toph nodded again, a grin wide on her face. “Gotta tell Mama ‘bout it.” 

“I’m sure she’ll be really proud of you, sweetheart.” Gwan took her foot once more, using a file to softly remove the mud from her her toe nails. There was a quiver under Gwan’s skin as she held that little foot. It was a strange feeling, and Toph frowned slightly at it. 

Her mother banned her from the courtyard after that. The door to it was locked and a little Toph wasn’t allowed to put her feet back in the mud for quiet some time.

“Papa, look!” Toph held her hand out, offering up her gift. Her father looked away from his business colleges. Their stilted laughter was cut short as they looked down on the tiny girl, her milky eyes staring blankly ahead. She held her hands out, a small stone hovering above her pale skin. “Look what I can do!” 

Father leaned down, placing a hand on her shoulder. “That is amazing sweetheart. But daddy is busy right now. Gwan, isn’t it almost time for Toph to be in bed.”

Toph frowned at the way her father’s hand felt on her shoulder. It was heavy and cold. Gwan’s hand on her shoulder was different; it was warm and reassuring in her praise. “Yes, My Lord. Come Toph, it’s time for your bath.”

Toph lowered her hand, holding the stone tightly. “Papa, I made the stone dance.”

“I did see sweetheart.” Father had already stepped away, moving back to discuss with his business partners. “Gwan, please get Toph ready for bed.”

Gwan picked her up, balancing the toddler on her hip. They left the room, Toph still holding the stone tight. In crumbled in her hand as she squeezed it too tight. 

Toph learned quickly how to slip from people’s views. It wasn’t like it was hard to go unseen by her parents. They only looked for her when it was time to parade their tiny little blind daughter around for their business partners to preen over. She stood quiet, starting blankly in a direction no one stood while her mother lamented all the struggles she would face and how important making connections for her would be. She was five and her mother was already discussing giving her hand away to a boy she had never been allowed to meet. She hadn’t been allowed to meet anyone really. 

The walls of the compound moved away under her delicate little fingers. She smiled, stumbling through the rubble on her hands and knees. Her silken dress ripped as she climbed through the stone. The world was dark around her, but she felt it. She could almost sense the mountains behind her home calling her. She continued walking, finding her footing growing more and more confident and she moved through a world of shifting darkness. 

Footsteps were trailing behind her. They were moving fast. A heavy hand lifted Toph from the ground. She was pressed against a man’s chest. “Lady Toph, how did you get out of your home. Lets get you home. Your parents are worried.”

Mother was aghast with worry when Toph was brought home. She stood there, a stiff tear in the corner of her eye as she tapped a clothe against it. “Thank you gentlemen for rescuing my daughter. I have been so worried this last hour. How did she get so far? Did someone have her?”

“Mama.” Toph whined, pushing against the man holding her. He set her down, her ripped dress brushing against the grass. “I broke the wall.” 

“What honey?” Mother’s voice was crisp and short. 

Toph pointed back, her finger inexpertly pointing exactly where the hole in the wall she had made was. “I broke the wall. I told you I could do it.”

The ground under mother shivered. “Absolutely not. Toph dear, you cannot do that.”

Toph’s little face grew tight. She stomped once, the pebbles in the grass rising and dropping. “I did tho. I did it.”

“Toph, no. That is dangerous. You are… you are frail my little one. Too frail for such… violent activities.” Mother’s body was stiff as she sighed heavily. “I want that wall fixed now. Company is arriving at dinner and this house it to be spotless. And Gwan? How did you lose track of her again.”

“I am so sorry My Lady.” Gwan took Toph into her arms, holding her close. “I was getting her dinner clothes ready and you called me away for a moment and Toph was gone by time I got back. I don’t know how she did it. I locked the door and everything.”

“Enough excuses.” Mother waved her off. “Get Toph cleaned up now. Get her in something presentable. A possible suitor’s family is arriving for dinner. They are from a prestigious family and I will not risk Toph’s chance for a future because you cannot keep an eye on a child.” 

“Yes, my Lady.” Gwan bowed again. She turned, moving back into the home.

Mother’s voice was crisp in the air. “Gwan, hold a moment.” 

The women stopped, turning back around. “Yes My Lady?”

“Once Toph is in a proper attire, please hand her off to another servant to be brought to dinner. And pack your bags. I want you off this property before the night ends. You’re fired.”

“Yes, My Lady. I understand.” Gwan’s entire body turned to stone. Toph could feel her, could feel every shiver that ran through her body. She held Toph tighter, her hands wobbling. She walked again, her step shaky against the homes marble floor. Her shoulder’s continued to quiver as she held Toph tight; Toph didn’t like that feeling.

“I’m sorry Nanny Gwan.” Toph’s voice was soft as she buried her face into the women’s cotton shirt.

“You have nothing to apologize for, little one.” A door closed behind them. She set Toph on a cushion, working to undo the ties of her ripped dress. Each time her fingers touched Toph’s skin, the girl could almost feel the sadness coursing through the women’s frame. “None of this is your fault.”

Gwan’s hand was on Toph’s arm, and she could feel the way her heart beat elevated. Toph pushed her had away, staring ahead with those glassy eyes. “It is tho. I got you in trouble.”

The first layer of her dress was slipped over Toph’s head. She stood there, continuing to pout as Gwan wrapped the second layer of her dress around her. The shawl was draped around the little girl’s shoulder. She moved behind her, taking Toph’s curtain of black hair and running a brush through the tangles. 

“I’m a miss you.” Toph looked back at Gwan. A glisten of tears began to blur those clouded eyes. 

Gwan moved forward, taking Toph’s face within her hand. She brushed away the tears, her voice tinged with her own tears. “I’m going to miss you too, little one. More so than I can say. But this is not my choice. I do need something for you.”

“What is it?”

“What you did with that wall. Toph, that was amazing. I have never seen bending that strong, from someone that young. I know your parents won’t approve, and I am sorry dear one for that. You have a gift, and it won’t be easy, but do not let it be squandered. You’re young still, oh so young. You have the world before you. Don’t be scared to take it.”

Toph threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around the women. She held her tight, making the moment count.

When she left the compound again, she learned how to put the wall back. She stumbled through the forest, dirtying her feet and ripping her dress. She kept going until she found the mountains. Until she tumbled down the slop of a cave. Until she pressed her hand against the nose of a giant creature who too was blind to the world around it. A creature that moved the Earth instead of being moved by it.

Father gave permission for training. It was for her safety that the Earthbending instructor came into the compound to teach her. She wasn’t allowed beyond the basics. He taught her how to move the stone. And nothing more. She was too frail. To fragile. To helpless and breakable. Her mother reminded her with every breath that she was brittle stone and that she would break if pushed. 

Not that mother knew what she could do with her bending. Nor did father. Neither even saw her training. Neither wanted to see what she could do. Bending was a vulgar hobby her mother would remind her. They would indulge her only so far. Enough so that she could move a stone, but no more. Any more than that was improper. 

“No respectable suitor will want a wife who rolls around in the mud.” Mother reminded her almost every night at dinner. She would be brought before her parents, set at the table and presented a meal.

“Cut her meat for her. Those bites are far too big for her.” Father would say. “Her soup is too hot. Please, cool it for her. I will not have my daughter burning her tongue. How did this family fare?”

Mother shook her head. “It was fine. The family is respectable enough. Their son is about two years older than Toph. Already a master of several instruments. Top of his classes.”

“Was the match finalized?”

“No. They had interest in the matter, however they declined in the end.” Mother’s grip on her chopsticks were tight. “The mother was aghast when she saw Toph bending in the courtyard. She wants her son married well, and she expressed her worries about him having a wife who earthbenders.”

“Whats wrong with bending?” Toph asked, her voice soft. 

“Nothing, sweetheart.” Mother replied. Her voice was sharp, and hallow in a way. “There are just… there are expectations of a proper lady, my doll. Expectations for a wife of your stature. And earthbending… well lets face is darling its a rather dirty hobby. I think we should slow down on your training.”

The chopsticks feel from Toph’s grasp. She felt her heartbeat stop for a moment. The world crumbled around her and she wondered how everything could stop in that moment, but her mother and father’s hearts continued to beat just as it had been. 

“I agree.” Father whipped his chin with a napkin as if nothing was wrong. “Master Yu informed me you were pushing yourself far too quickly. You are blind Toph, moving a pebble is one thing, but expecting to have control over rocks roughly the size of you. If there was an accident, someone lost control you would have no way of knowing a rock was coming at you. It is just too dangerous.”

“You are twelve years old sweetheart,” mother cut in. “You will need a suitor once you come of age. A proper gentleman to give you a life of comfort you deserve. Your father and I will not always be around to care for you. We need to think of your future.”

“But mother-”

Father cut her off. “This is not up for debate Toph. We are doing this for your own good. Now onto better subjects. I had my meeting with the Eun Jung family. They are more than happy to open markets in their city selling our clothes. We both have cause to believe it will be a most profitable partnership.”

“If I am correct, the Eun Jung family have children. Two boys?”

“Three actually. Their youngest Shinu recently returned from a rather prestigious boarding school near Ba Sing Se. He’s four years older than Toph, and this pass year was skipped ahead of a grade due to his impressive test scores. Soomin is looking for offers of his hand as well. If this business partnership works as well as expected, offers of marriage might be brought to the table.”

Toph sat quietly while they talked around her. She picked her chopstick back up, picking at the food in front of her.

She broke out that night, not for the first and most certainly not for the last. Clad in a stolen pair of simple clothes, Toph followed the feeling in the ground of a crowd of people. She could feel the earth being thrown around from miles away. It wasn’t hard to open the stone wall and make her way into the crowded area. The crowds were all too excited, moving around the small child without even noticing her.

“Hey, you can’t be back here!” 

Toph turned, taking in the very tall man standing before her. There were two more men behind her, equally as tall and foreboding in side. She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning her weight back on one foot. “What is this place?”

“The Earth Rumble. Where the greatest earthbenders in the world fight. And you don’t belong back here little girl. It’s were the fights prepare.”

A wicked smirk crossed Toph’s face. The expression would be there for many times to come, but that shit eating grin appeared for the first time. “You don’t have the greatest earthbender fighting here.”

The man frowned at her. “And why do you say that kid?”

“Cause I’m not fighting here. Not yet at least.” 

The men laughed, deep full bellied sounds. “You have a lot of sass little girl. You have the talent to back it up?”

“You can’t be serious?” One of the men asked. “Letting a child fight out there. She’ll get herself killed.”

Toph blew the hair from her face. They caught sight of the milky whites staring blankly ahead. “I bet I can kick your butt right off that arena.”

“She’s blind! I’m not fighting a blind brat!!”

The first man continued to chuckle. “A trial run then. Find a spot in the audience, and after the show is over, you show me what you can do. If you’re good enough, I’ll put you in the rooster.”

“Oh I’m good enough.” Toph’s smirk only grew. She turned sharply, making her way towards the crowd.

“Wait kid!” The man called out. “I hope whatever you feel you gotta prove to yourself, its worth it.”

Her grin faulted for a moment. She thought of her mother, chastising for every hair out of place. Of her father, dismissing her talent as nothing. Master Yu holding her back because of her blindness, even though she had mastered all these forms on her own. The badgermoles who had taught her how to see the world better than anyone else could. The smile came back to her lips. “I don’t have to prove.”

“My daughter is blind. She is blind and tiny and fragile. She cannot help you.” 

“Yes. I can.” So she showed him what she could do. Showed him the skills she had hide all these years. The skills he refused to see all this time. 

And he still refused to see it. “I’ve let you have far too much freedom. From now on, you’ll be cared for and guarded twenty-four hours a day.”

“But Dad!”

“We’re doing this your your own good, Toph.” 

She left that night for the last time. Toph left it all behind, running after a trio of weirdos and head first into a war. She ran from the compound, to the first taste of real freedom.

“Ya know, I love having you here Toph. But how long are you staying for?”

Toph threw her feet onto his desk, smirking as he hastily moved the paperwork away. She leaned back, reaching for the cup of tea “You trying to get rid of me that quickly, Sparky?”

Zuko chuckled, pushing her feet back. “No. You’re actually a pretty big help. And don’t tell the others, but you’ve always been my favorite.”

“As I should be. I am the best after all.”

“That you are. But it’s been two years now. Have you thought about what you’re going to do now that everything is over.”

Toph downed the rest of her tea, setting it on the desk. “What are you talking aabout? I’ve done a lot. I’m training a bunch of losers how to metalbend. I rounded up those Rhino guys for you. I’ve saved your life several times now. I won so many Rumbles they won’t let me back cause it’s unfair for everyone else. And I erected statues of myself all over the world. I’m on a roll baby.”

“That you are.” Zuko replied. “But…. Your parents sent another letter. It’s the sixth one this week.”

Toph drew her feet from the table. “And they can keep sending them. I don’t care.”

“They’re your parents...”

“And you of all people should know that doesn’t matter.” Toph crossed her arms over her chest. A strong pout was on her lower lip. “They suck. And they don’t care. They just want me back to play the perfect little daughter. I’m not that anymore and I’m not pretending to be that ever again.” 

“I was going to say, that they’re your parents, yes.” He raised a finger when Toph opened her mouth to cut him off. “And them being so, and what they did, it’s still a part of you. It’s something that still affects you.”

“It doesn’t.”

Zuko sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. “Toph, my dad was an abusive dick...”

Toph nodded, “And I still think I’ve earned ten minutes to just kick his ass.”

“… And no matter how far I come from where I was, how much I acknowledge it, that is always going to be a part of me. I had to be perfect for him. Had to exceed every expectation. And I never did. I never even meet a single one of his demands. And punishment was always swift and cruel. That has still stuck with me. That fear of failing. Of falling behind or disappointing someone… the fear of retribution of doing so.”

Toph’s gaze narrowed. She crossed her legs, picking at her toes absentmindedly. “Sparky, I will kill that man before I let him touch you again.” 

“It’s not him that does it.” Zuko’s voice was tight. She could feel his heartbeat ticking away. “There was an argument within the counsel yesterday. I don’t even remember what it was over, but it was intense. There was a lot of screaming, and lot of insults and one of them slammed their hand on the table. It startled me. Setting something off and I pretty much jumped out of my chair. They all were watching me and I could just stand there, hyperventilating all because some grown man was yelling and hit the table. And all I could think of, was being a kid again with my father yelling at me and throwing things and being terrified if when his hand was going to fall.”

“My parents never hit me.”

“Abuse is a lot more complicated than just hitting your kid. It’s belittling them. Degrading them. Forcing them to be someone they aren’t just to make them happy.” Zuko leaned forward, placing his hand on her foot. “I hide what was happening for years. And, I’ve realized, through that therapy Uncle dragged me to, that hiding it all isn’t healthy. Pushing it all away and pretending it didn’t happen, isn’t healthy. Have you ever really talked about what it was like growing up with them?” 

Toph looked away, pulling her arms closer to her chest. She knocked his hand from her foot. “What is there to even talk about?”

“You told me once that your parents never really gave you the love you needed. I heard the story about how you joined the others. The big manor, the guards all around and the parents who never saw you for who you are. I get it. I’m not going to force you to talk if you don’t want to. But I am here. And it does help to talk to someone.”

Toph rose from her chair, walking across the room. She ran her finger over the spine of some of the books on his shelf. She took one from the shelf, opening it. “I never thought I’d be able to read or write. My parents always said it was just another thing I’d never be able to do. But I can now. Sort of. Not the way others can, but you and Sokka, you show me the words. And I found a way to do it.”

She remembered the first time she’d carved her name into that stone tablet. The sheer joy she had felt when Aang wrote all their names into the same stone and she read them for the first time. It was limited what she could do, but it was more than she had before. She closed the book, partially wondering what was written on those paper pages. 

“I found a way to do everything my parents told me I couldn’t. And so much more than they ever thought possible. I became the worlds greatest earthbender. I invented metalbending. I helped end a war and saved the whole freaking world. And I still…” Toph dropped onto the floor, letting her back slide down the wall. She leaned her head back, blowing her hair from her face. She took the metal bracelet from her wrist, bending it around and around. “I told my parents all of it. I had Sokka write it all down for them and send it… and the first time they responded it was to tell me how much they wanted me home. Home much they missed their little girl. How big and scary the world is and how I needed to be home where I could be safe again. Where they could protect me.”

She bent the metal into a twisted mess. “They wanted this perfect little doll of a daughter and the only reason they ever paid attention to me was to remind me of how fragile and helpless I was. How much I needed them to take care of me. And unless they were parading me around, going on and on to their business partners about how much of a tragedy I was, how they were offering my hand for marriage like just another business deal, they would just shove me off onto some nanny to watch. A part of me hoped that if they saw… if they saw all I could do, that they’d realize I didn’t need them to protect me. I didn’t need them to keep me safe. I could do it myself. And it makes me so angry that no matter what I do… I can’t seem to prove that to them.” 

Zuko had risen from his chair. He slide down the wall next to her. “Have you told them all this? Actually told them how you felt?”

“I haven’t seen them since I ran off with Aang. I only wrote to them that one time. I don’t know if I could really face them.”

Zuko nudged her shoulder. “You don’t have to if you’re not ready. And if you do, you don’t have to do it alone. You don’t owe your parents anything. If you want to see them, to tell them how you feel, than do so. If you never want to speak to them again, then I will pen the letter to tell them to fuck off once and for all. But you owe it to yourself to find closure if you want it.”

Toph looked uncertain. Zuko smirked, punching her softly in the shoulder. She looked at him aghast, placing her hand on the spot. “Did you just punch me?”

Zuko shrugged. He dropped his arm around her shoulder. “It’s how I show affection.”

“Fuck off,” Toph elbowed him, laughing loudly. She quieted down, letting a sigh escape her lips. “It probably won’t hurt to talk to them. At least set things right. Do think they’d listen this time around?”

“Toph, you are the greatest bender I know. One of the strongest people I know. If you want them to listen, I have no doubt in my mind you will make them see what we all see. And that’s how amazing you really are.”

Toph pushed herself to her feet. She offered him a hand to help her up. “Well. I guess we have a letter to write.”


End file.
